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It’s kinda scary to write this, but I wanted to share some thoughts after watching this video.

I had to add 1 to my cry count while watching lol…she was talking about how:

• She felt like she always had to mask to be “accepted” by others (so it’s not really her true self)

• She never felt like she was good enough because her 100% was other people’s 50%

• She forced herself to be a certain way to fit in a world that wasn’t really designed for her

While I related to some parts, I think we need to stop this narrative of feeling like something is “wrong” with you just because you don’t do something others expect you to.

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How ADHD disrupts my life

In university I found it so hard to pay attention in lecture.

Everyone thought I was so organized because I always had the notes.

(Messenger started blocking my Google Drive link bc it got shared so much, they thought it was spam lol)

But the reality was…

I had to force myself to take notes, otherwise I’d get bored and space out.

I forced myself to record voice notes teaching myself course concepts,

So I could listen to them while commuting.

I hated sitting down and studying unless it was with someone else (body doubling).

At work, I could never focus during meetings.

I just read the agenda ahead of time and did my work

While listening to the meeting in the background.

My boss was always impressed by how I was able to get something done so quickly,

When we had just talked about it in the meeting.

Now (running my own business), I have major shiny object syndrome,

Jumping from project to project without finishing any.

Sometimes I even procrastinate on 1 task with another,

And admin work piles up until my accountant calls me and tells me I need to make a deadline 💀 

You’d assume I hated living my life this way, right?

But I don’t.

Working with ADHD, not against it

Significant growth happens when you understand yourself well.

(That’s why I make every student in my course reflect on their values and purpose in the first week.)

I noticed I tend to get overwhelmed because I overcommit to too many exciting projects.

So I created a project prioritization matrix.

I noticed I couldn’t work on my goals because I needed to do things perfectly, but my lack of attention to detail made it hard.

So I learned to be okay with imperfection.

I noticed my time estimations were terrible and I often lost track of time (rip my time blindness).

So I started tracking my time 24/7.

I noticed I could barely remember what was happening in my life because I had such poor working memory.

So I made a Google Form to fill out every night, forcing me to reflect on my day.

People thought I was exaggerating when I talked about how painful it was to do boring admin work.

So I made it less painful by chatting with a friend while cleaning, listening to music, or asking friends to work together for accountability and competition.

I knew I:

• Was creative

• Had high energy

• Loved multitasking/context switching

• Tend to hyperfocus on weird topics (like my poo count lol)

So I used that to my advantage…

By creatively designing a life where I worked with my strengths,

Instead of beating myself up about my weaknesses.

Why am I sharing this?

I used to think I was alone.

I almost didn’t want to share my poop/cry counts because I knew I’d get roasted for it.

But ever since I started sharing my systems online,

So many people reached out saying they did the same thing, and how it helped them.

I also had students tell me they appreciated the captioning and transcripts in my bite-sized course videos,

Because they were hard of hearing (me too, that’s why I included it lol)

Or because it helped them pay attention to the video.

Every day I read community posts from people,

Saying how they felt less alone, which gives them the hope and energy to keep trying.

And I once read that Deafness is often seen as the loss of hearing,

But it should be reframed as “Deaf Gain” -

Because there’s a rich language, culture, community, and perspective you gain from being Deaf.

So if you relate to some of the struggles ADHDers face,

You’re not “broken” or “living life wrong”…

And you’re not alone 🫶

Til next Monday,

Jennifer

P.S. I really encourage you to create a wins document where you put things you’re proud of, it does wonders for your confidence! Plus the next time you have limiting beliefs, ask yourself “why” 5 times to get to the root cause.