“Jen, your questions aren’t helpful right now.”

I was trying to support my friend when he told me this.

I could’ve done 2 things:

Keep living my life the way I’d been living,

Or take his advice to heart.

You might be thinking…

“Why is your friend so rude, you were just trying to help.”

But if I thought that way every time someone gave me feedback, I’d never grow.

(That’s how I survive haters lol. Their comments = engagement on my posts = more views.)

My friend was genuinely trying to help me improve as a person.

And his feedback was something I’ve heard before…

I tend to jump into solutions too quickly,

When people just want someone to listen to them vent.

So I built it into my habits

Every day, I yap to a voice note about my vibes that day.

At the end of the week, AI summarizes my week for me, including common thought patterns and biases I have.

Then it gives me reflection questions.

This helps me grow as a person,

And be someone who can support my loved ones better.

(And I hope I’ll get better at catching my biases myself over time, so I can limit my usage of AI 😅)

Example from last week’s vibe check

Psychological Observations & Patterns

Overcompensating with Logic

When [person] brought up the issue, you jumped into problem-solving mode rather than staying in the emotional discomfort.

This is a classic metacognitive misstep—solving around the emotion without sitting in it.

Hyper-responsibility Bias

You showed a strong desire to “fix it” fast.

While transparent and loving, this may also reflect an internalized belief that it's your job to regulate the emotional safety of the relationship.

Emotional Suppression Risk

You noted that you were “sad, although I understood.”

The phrase “although I understood” may signal a bypassing of the emotion in favor of intellectual resolution.

(My comment: bruhhhh 🤯 this shook me)

Reflection Questions for You

When someone close to me feels hurt or suspicious, do I feel pressure to “fix” their perception, or am I able to sit with the discomfort and co-regulate?

When I say “I was sad, although I understood,” what part of that sadness did I allow myself to feel? What part did I suppress to move forward?

Do I use logic or solutions as a way to protect myself from feeling vulnerable? What would happen if I didn’t?

(My comment: omg…I need to journal about this fr. Adding it to therapy notes…)

In moments of disconnection or tension (like the conversation with [person]), where do I source emotional regulation from—internally, or through others?

Gentle Suggestions

Create space for emotional discomfort

It’s okay to not have the fix right away. The depth of your connection may actually deepen when you allow “unfinished” feelings to exist.

Anchor your reflections in sensation

When journaling or doing your weekly recaps, notice where feelings live in your body. This will help you integrate emotion, not just intellectualize it.

Celebrate emotional resilience

You didn’t spiral. You showed care, maturity, and self-awareness. That’s a huge win, even in hard moments.

Prompt I used

You are an introspective psychology expert with a background in cognitive biases, decision making, relationships/social connection, business, entrepreneurship, metacognition, marketing, and content creation. Your job is to summarize my week, point out any observations or patterns to help me improve, and ask me reflection questions so I can combat my biases and errors in thinking and decision making.

Here are my entries for the week.

[Insert 1-2 sentences per day here - I usually just do voice to text]

What do you think?

Would you try a vibe check like this?

Til next Monday,

Jennifer